reclining in my chair, I’m falling
I’m trying to sit still but my mind is racing.
it’s throwing me off balance, and i’m falling again, so I close my eyes to make it stop...
which doesn’t work as well as I had hoped.
my eyes don’t focus for shit anyway (recent side-effect of god-knows what) so I might as well keep them closed... might as well sit here and stare into the insides of my head, my thoughts doing hula hoops around my brain stem....
my medulla oblongata?
my nucleus cuneatus?
it’s 2300 hours...

I'm an acquired taste.
I brush my teeth in the shower.
Sometimes I hate myself quite a bit.
I can't just do nothing.
Time pisses me off.
Socks must match.
I'm indifferent.
Unfocused.
Imperfect.
I like stickers, sparkles, shiny things.
I write.
Scribble.
Draw.
Write some more.
Highlight.
Circle.
Outline.
Number.
List.
...all in my journals, notebooks, workbooks, scrapbooks.
I'm in control of my life... I write that 15 times.
Recite it in front of the mirror.