ATTN: geniuses@apple.com

I would like to start out by saying thank you for making an operating system that fucking works (coupled with hardware that is inferior to my vacuum cleaner). Even though most of my complaints deal with the inability of YOUR products to communicate with each other, for convenience, I have arranged my list of complaints by device, starting with my biggest annoyance.

I love gyms. I love the atmosphere, the people, the weights, that feeling you get when you just completed a great workout. But I also hate gyms. The pesky trainers, the guy that likes using my favorite treadmill, the people that just get in the way of your workout running smoothly and of course the membership sales people, the money-hungry big-gyms and the whole “closing early on sunday” thing.... ah... that’s what I will bitch about today [please note that most of this post was written on my iPhone while waiting for a sales person].