The New Jersey driver is an interesting species. In fact, very few have a fucking clue of how to drive on less than straight roads in less than perfect conditions. Although many have become familiar with merging techniques, others still insist on stopping on the on-ramp and waiting for the oh-so-kind people on the Turnpike to yield, then get bent out of shape, hyperventilating at the wheel when some 18-wheeler that is towing a house almost runs them over for failing to speed up. Then there’s all those people who have not yet gotten accustomed to precipitation. A drizzle or a snowflake leads to a panic, as if it has never rained or snowed before, and they have never driven on a wet road. So these people do 15 mph. Then there’s the other people who completely disregard precipitation, assuming that a rain-proof shield was somehow included in their Escalade’s 100 thousand mile warranty. These drivers are a creative bunch, gotta give em that. Some are under the impression that they can drive through solid objects, over cars and can defy all laws of physics (gravity included). This makes for some interesting accidents and traffic that makes you want to walk up to the already injured driver, bandaged and bleeding from the head, and beat him to death with the snow scraper/squeegee/umbrella you’ve had under your back seat for the last 2 years. “Learn how to drive motherfucker!” If it rains, I know the normally 15-minute long trip to the gym will take me 45 minutes AT LEAST. I am guaranteed to witness at least 3 accidents, one of which usually involves the presence of at least two firetrucks, 2 of which have been caused by women with big hair, and for some reason 1 of the vehicles is always a Mercedes SLK (which I have concluded are crash-prone).

....and the closer you are to ANY city, the worse the driving gets...

*sigh*