Sure, life would be plenty more full of ouch without all those awesome topical anesthetics. Toothache? Sore throat? Hemorrhoids? Itching? Burning? There is a creme, jelly, spray or patch just for you! Want to put a coke bottle up your ass? A furby? Your TV remote? There’s a creme, gel and spray to make the experience as painless and carefree as possible. OK, I get that. I even kinda get the “spray this in your throat for a gag-free blowjob”. What I completely don’t get is why would you want to purposely put ANYTHING ending with “caine” on you penis? Who was the genius that came up with this? Benzocaine, dibucaine, lidocaine... Why would you put something like this inside a condom? How can a body part that you can’t feel, function.... er.... correctly? Whoever feels I am wrong needs to get their nerve endings checked out... seriously...

I can’t feel my jaw or nose and I had 12 seconds of contact with this anesthetic-covered penis (which apparently had the anesthetic equivalent of a gram of coke because I feel ready for a root canal).... but i digress...