So, you may sense a pattern in my reading: the latest memoir to get added to my favorites bookshelf is the Secret Diary of a Call Girl... Belle de Jour. The infamous blog has spawned a book or two or three, a show and a trend of hookers all over the globe to chronicle their... er... work experiences. I can somewhat relate... having stood pretty close to the thin line between entertainment and prostitution (mentally... mostly)... Small excerpt from the book...

[FUCK]

• Good Fuck: makes lots of noise, alerting neighbors to actual sexual activity on the premises. Leaves nothing behind and does not call immediately after. In short, should probably be charging for services rendered.
• Bad Fuck: counts ceiling tiles, then demands betrothal.
• Fuckable: no so much conventionally attractive as exuding animal qualities. Unless, of course, that animal is an otter.
• Fuckwit: not likely to engage in actual fucking anytime soon.
• Fucked Over: no longer the recipient of regular fucks

[SEX]

• Good Sex: in which you get everything you want.
• Bad Sex: in which he gets everything he wants.

[LOVE]

• Love at First Sight: the overwhelming desire to see the inside of the nearest closet (pub toilet, store fitting room, dark alley corner, et al.)
• True Love: can be introduced to the family without unreasonable fear of embarrassment. On the part of the family.
• Everlasting Love: a polyamorous couple who haven’t had sex with each other in years.
• The Love of Your Life: the boy you picked up at school/random club who spent eight-plus hours a day online and ate all the rice cakes, the memory of whom somehow improves with time. *
• In Love: an instance of being almost as interested in someone else as in oneself.
• Loving: capable of untold amounts of suffocation
• Lover: one who comes around when your partner’s “out of town on business” (read: seeing his lover)

See Also:
The Secret Diary of a Call Girl (Showtime)

* Yea... you know I wrote that one..