1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

2. Your orgasms are real. Always.

3. Your last name stays put.

4. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

5. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

6. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

7. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

8. Same work, more pay.

9. Wrinkles add character.

10. New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet... and three pairs is more than enough.

11. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

12. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

13. You can open all your own jars and never have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

14. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

15. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

16. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

17. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, "He must be mad at me."

18. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

19. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24, in minutes.

20. One mood, all the damn time.