Re-Post form My Catch 27 Blog from way back...

BOYTOY CONTRACT

This BOYTOY contract (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2005. Between ME and______________ (hereinafter referred to as the "Boytoy").

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

SECTION I: PARTIES INVOLVED
1. There is to be no reference to us (me and you) as "friends with privileges", Our relationship is for sexual purpose only. Primarily, for my pleasure. You are not my friend. Your sole purpose for being a part of my life if for fucking only.
2. There is to be no reference to me as your "girlfriend" to ANY third party. Such will make this contract null and void.
3. The involvement of any third party in any act whether social or sexual is to be arranged in advance.

SECTION II: CONTACT
1. There is to be absolutely no phone calls made to me before 10 PM. This is my personal/friends time. You are not my friend, so we don't have shit to talk about.
2. The preferred means of contacting me before 10 PM is by text message (to my phone). Any text message charges incurred by either party are to be paid by the boytoy.
3. I have the right to call or message the boytoy at all hours.
4. There is to be absolutely no phone calls to me from Blocked, Anonymous, Private, Restricted and/or Unknown phone numbers. Such phone calls will not be answered.

SECTION III: CONVERSATION
1. There will be no emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.
2. There is to be no baby talk. There will be no daddy/mommy references whatsoever!
3. Dirty talk is encouraged.
4. There will be no inquiry into who and how many sexual partners I have had/ currently have. This information is private.
5. There will be no inquiry into the performance of my previous/current sexual partners in comparison to that of the boytoy. This information is private.
6. Do not get offended if I do not inquire whether or not you enjoyed the act (i don't give a shit).
7. Do not inquire whether or not I enjoyed the act if you are not prepared to hear (in detail) what you did wrong and/or right.
8. The boytoy is not to inquire into the possible involvement of a third party in any sexual act. This is a privilege reserved to me. If the involvement of a third party is discussed, the selection of such party will require a mutual agreement.

SECTION IV: PUBLIC ACTS
1. There is to be absolutely no public meeting except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
2. If public meeting is to take place, any attempt to hold my hand or make out with me in public will immediately void this contract.
3. The boytoy is to pay all bills by default, unless other agreement has been made.
4. There will be no romantic weekend getaways of any kind.
5. If both parties are present for a trip requiring overnight stay, it is understood that the boytoy is present on said trip for fucking ONLY.
6. The boytoy is only required to pay his share of expenses if such a trip is taken (i.e. airfare, lodging).

SECTION V: SEXUAL ACTS
1. There will be no "lovemaking", only sex is allowed.
2. Doggie style is the preferred position. The less eye contact, the better.
3. A condom is required. This is non-negotiable.
4. There will be absolutely no sucking of toes.
5. If the boytoy is found to be inadequate in size, skill and/or libido, he will be verbally notified. Notification is to occur when the inadequacy is first observed, performed or reproduced. Upon reception of said notification, the boytoy is to remove himself from the premises immediately. Because the boytoy is assumed to be perfect, inadequacy of any type is seen as a breach of contract on his part.

SECTION VI: PHYSICAL PROPERTY
1. All "gifts" are accepted and will not be returned.
2. All items left in my possession will be regarded as "gifts".
3. All "gifts" I do not like will be auctioned off on EBAY.
4. The boytoy is strongly advised to refrain from bringing extra items into my residence (See Clauses 2 and 3).
5. There will be no "borrowing" of my vehicle for any reason, so do not ask (I know it's tempting).
6. If consumption of alcoholic beverages is to occur, the boytoy is to provide said beverages (my house is not a liquor store).
7. There will be absolutely no consumption of food and/or beverage from my refrigerator (i am not a grocery store, feel free to bring take-out)
8. There will be absolutely no use of my cell phone (you should have your own).
9. There is to be no use of unauthorized photo or video equipment (i.e. camera phone, camcorder)
10. If photo or video equipment is used, all recording media is, by default, my property. Recording media includes but is not limited to all video cassettes, discs, film, memory cards.
11. Any obscene artwork made in the duration of the visit is my property by default. "Artwork" includes but is not limited to all sketches, sculptures, etchings and/or paintings produced from conventional and/or unorthodox media.
12. All undergarments are to be returned to their owners at the conclusion of the visit.
13. No undergarments whatsoever are to be removed from my residence. Such include worn and unworn thongs, bras, panties or any item that may be used as a nightshirt.
14. No hoisery whatsoever is to be removed from my residence.
15. Any physical property damaged within my residence is to be replaced by the boytoy (i.e. broken furniture, dishes, ripped undergarments and/or clothing, etc)

SECTION VII: OTHER PRIVATE ACTS
1. Cuddling is strictly forbidden, unless it is initiated by me AND is in an area where the temperature falls below 50*F AND is during the months of December, January or February.
2. There is to be no sleeping over whatsoever at my place of residence.
3. There is to be no unnecessary sleeping over at the residence of the boytoy. Any sleeping over during periods of inclimate weather or illness are deemed necessary.
4. There will be no accidental "falling asleep" after sex.
5. The boytoy is to get dressed in a rapid manner and exit quietly with no meaningless post-sex small talk.

The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and the boytoy will be liable for any and all damages whether mental and/or physical.

Holder of Agreement (Me)

Signature_______________________________________

Date: ________________

Participating Party (Boytoy)

Signature_______________________________________

Date: ________________